Friday, January 05, 2007

why do you do this to yourself?
you're my sister and i love you dearly.
it pains me so much to see you torture yourself on a daily basis, putting yourself on a punishing diet even though you have track training!
please dont do this.

you're already so thin, what's the point of losing all the muscle?
to me, you're perfect as you are.
cute, adorable and lovely.
why do you have to go to such extreme lengths to hide this from mommy, from me?
don't be silly. this will harm your health!

confide in me, tell me your woes,
not only your joy and the laughter.
you wont listen when i help or when i voice concern.
since when did the charming little sister i knew
become one so concerned with her appearance?

i dont know you anymore.
not just this, but everything else.
church, school.
the friends you hang out with?

come back.

HE LOVES (: at 10:08 AM

Thursday, October 26, 2006

i'm pretty glad only a handful read this blog.
don't ask why.
(dont read if you dont like emo posts)

are there ever days when you feel so upset, cheerless, numb, frustrated with yourself?
like somehow you know nothing will ever feel the same again, no matter how hard you try it will never be the same again?
(and no it's not about love or broken hearts)
i know someone that feels that way.

she feels this overwhelming guilt and a twinge of remorse infused with hints of regret that hit on her at sudden intervals. even she can't explain how exactly she feels.

you see, this girl has some sort of a major examination in her life coming up which will only be one of life's minor obstacle in stall for her. she knows without a doubt that she will have to perform spectacularly at this component, yet she is also certain beyond doubt that she will score well in that component, if only placings were counted bottom up instead of top down. this frustrates her greatly- if she can't even overcome such a ''minor'' component as one of life's multitude of challenges, what more in the years ahead? how can she cope, manage all that stress? is she up to it? such thoughts flooded her mind.

the world she lives in is obsessed with the achievements one manages to attain in their lifetime. And mind you, these achievements are those that do no good for humanity. these are the monetary possessions not time spent to help the needy, the amount of treasure in the form of jewellery not love or compassion for others, the number of dusty tropies and medals that line one's display panel boasting of the fanastic accomplishments one has managed to attain yet contain no thank you notes filled with lines of graditude, thanking them for going out of their way to help them when they needed help most. what has happened to her world? her once beautiful, glittering world of kindness and compassion was shattered. only then did she see the ugly truth, all she had once believed in was in fact, a lie. the world was all spite, jealousy, rivalry.

maybe there was beauty. beneath this horrible, loathsome world laid a world of beauty, treasure, kindness and love. if you looked in the right places. her schoolmates were living proof of that. they were her source of strength in the darkness. her joy when it seemed all hope was lost. it was they who gave her faith to believe in the world again. somehow, maybe it was magic, but they did it. suddenly her world was not longer filled with gloomy greys or melancholy blues. it was a myriad of colours whenever she was with them, their laughter conjured up hues of pink, oranges and bright yellows.

to be continued..

HE LOVES (: at 11:44 AM

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

DREAMS TO REACH
GOALS TO ACHIEVE
HOW DO I GET FROM ZERO TO HERO?

for the first time, i admit my baby sis is pretty cool.
yes my younger sister's cool!!
hahaha
i sound silly but heck.
but all you young boys sorry, she isnt interested.
but if you're desperate, you can buy me say 10pints of ben&jerrys or the other one, i forgot the name and 20 boxes of good dark chocolate and i can consider (;
kidding!

okay okay, im going so HIGH.
post-prelims baby! one month left so...much to be done.
i want to be so smart and brainy that white matter oozes out of my ears
haaaa. if you dont know what that is, you better go read your biology textbook darling!

can't wait to see how RESPLENDENT and STUNNING the girls look at prom!
i betcha they'll be like the next batch of MISS SINGAPORE UNIVERSE candidates, honest.

had a great time with joy in the past week.
she's a great girlfriend to pig out with and talk to.
one that shares my great love for EATING!!!!!
and our ''shops'' and companies in future.
(how cool!)

God, it's up to you.
i mean, ultimately you rule my life and decide my fate.
help me keep the faith
when the going gets tough
or when everything seems so rough.
to you, i lift my life.
make the most of it, glorify and honour you
in all i do
make my days count
my words impactful
my actions a legacy.
teach me to take things in my stride
strip away pride.
give me compassion
and the ability, capacity to love others
just like you love me
so genuine, so sincere, so
pure and holy.
thank you God.

HE LOVES (: at 1:53 PM

Friday, August 18, 2006

Dear God,

I'm breaking under pressure,
there's no time for leisure.
Do i bring you pleasure?
Do you smile when you think of me?

Do you think i'll make it?
Surpass the limit?
Will there be a miracle
to bring me through this obstacle?
The road's too uncertain,
i need some affirmation.
God, it hurts.
Do you hear me from heaven?
Will my best be enough?

I haven't been praying,
too much playing, slacking.
I've forgotten you're King.
Above all the struggles and hardship,
i've also dismissed friendship.
I'm sorry God, i really am.
if i work hard now,
Will my best be enough?

God, how come it's so hard?
so hard to be brave.
so easy to numb myself,
run away from fate.
God give me love,
give me hope,
give me faith
not to resign to fate.
do you hear me from heaven?

God, you see me cry
pray and wipe my tears dry.
Thank you for the love
thank you for the dove
thank you for your peace.
will i be okay?
will i come out in one piece?
do i make you proud?
will my best be enough?

take me to our secret place
where i can truly seek solace.
i desperately want to see your face,
to see your face.
do you hear me from heaven?
will you answer when i call?

When are you free?
Do i need to call to make a date?
What if i'm too late?
will it be too late to change?
is it too late?
i dont want you to be a last resort.
i feel like a robot,
void of emotions,
without solutions.
I can't do it God.
not anymore, not without you.
I'm breaking.
Will my best be enough?
will my best be enough?

HE LOVES (: at 11:25 PM

Friday, July 28, 2006

FINALLY.
ive recieved the reply from the world vision people!!!!
my sponsored child seems awesome.
she's Sen Makara, from Cambodia (the country i wanted)
she's awesome. pretty too, if i put her picture here...........
I'M SO HAPPY.
: D
SAVE. WORKS.
COMPASSION DARLING, COMPASSION.

#1. thank God for lessons like biology. so much to laugh about. involuntary and voluntary actions - knee jerk, arm force exertion, involuntary finger wriggle (haha), angie's testing of lifted arm?!
CHAR AND I (not me and joy, dear fel. others before self) were left laughing like shit luh. at first we were like ?! then we were like !!! and then hahahahaha. okay, you dont need to understand unless you're in 4 hope luh.

#1.5. KATE WE MISS YOU ALR (CHAR&I)
please get well soon kay!!!!
we made something special to welcome you back already babe, aren't you dying to see
it alr? (: (: (: (: (: (:

#2. FOUR HOPE IS COMING FOR MEGALYMPICS!!!
and get this right: in our ''it's not my fault, four hope is hot'' tee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dang, it's gonna get sizzling hot in there.
we apologise in advance and kindly remind you to bring your fans.

#3. my dear friends were surprised at the amount of chilli i ate today.
SOMEONE was commenting on how much i ate today with mock shock
"gosh, you ate so much today!!!" satire satire, you know i ate v. little compared to what i
usually do but today though i still out-ate you, hon! (;

#4. angie and i acted so bimbo today !
and mushy. haha.

#5. realised leeyi and i have much in common to do with food, except i'm a little less picky, not
that it makes a difference anyway right!!!!
as leeyi says : dont waste stomach space on nothing! eat quality food in quantity! (okay,
fine so i added the ''in quantity'' part. eating is good luh)

#6. I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE AROUND ME OBSSESS ABOUT DIETING.
go away please, no such word as diet in my vocabulary.

I SOUND SO ANNOYED HAHA.

#7. i need to STUDY.
rat race.
help
competence versus compeditiveness?
NOW

oh how i love life (:

HE LOVES (: at 6:01 AM

Sunday, July 16, 2006

HAPPY FUNKY 15TH BIRTHDAY VERON !
sorry i'm a day late :(
i really hope you enjoyed the brithday surprise songs, the cake and the whatnots.

HAPPY YOUNG 4X MOMMY!!!
i love you awfully much, thank you for the expensive caterer, the gorgeous canon ixus 65 (my baby) and the many years of nurturing (nicer word than nagging, kidding) and bringing me up with all the pleasures of life. and for spoiling me too (;
and remember, you're not old! and see, i didnt tell anyone your age.
you're such a great mom, the bestest coolest ever!!

HEY EVERYONE! THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY SWEET 16TH BRITHDAY BASH SUCH A SENSATIONAL SUPERB STUNNING SWEET AFFAIR!!
I REALLY REALLY THANK YOU FOR COMING AND MAKING MY DAY!

TO THE GIRLS: OH MY GOSH! THE SONGS NEARLY MADE ME CRY! YOU GUYS ARE TOO SWEET FOR ME (: THE SONG YOU SANG WAS BEAUTIFUL AND I THANK YOU FOR SINGING ME THE SONG SO WONDERFULLY, MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELVES FOR ME, DOING ALL YOU DID, FOR ME!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU ALL.

TO THE CHURCH PEOPLE: THANK YOU FOR COMING DOWN ALL THE WAY FROM THE EAST FOR ME (: IT'S REALLY SWEET AND LOVELY OF YOU GUYS!
I LOVE YOU GUYS TOO!!!

I LOVE MY HOT FRIENDS
and thank you GOD for giving me such great friends, family and you to make my birthday such a memorable one!!!!!!!!!

thank you <3>

HE LOVES (: at 10:14 AM

Friday, July 07, 2006

just for laughs:
a chat with nicol and xxx (name changed to protect privacy)

NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
GIRLS RULE WHAT
NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
hahahaha
xxx says:
NO
xxx says:
LOL GIRLS DONT
xxx says:
hahah
NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
oh here we go again

( i said girls rule the world and someone got upset, haha)

NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
hahaha
xxx says:
i suddenly thought how smthxxx says:
ask you okay?
NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
WHAT
xxx says:
how do i get to know you?
xxx says:
haha
NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
I DONT KNOW
.
.
.

NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
i met you when you fell down in the drain and i helped you up im so nice
NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
see girls rule the world
xxx says:
HUH?
xxx says:
SERIOUS?
xxx says:
OMG
xxx says:
HAhhHA
NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
yes!!
NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
of course
NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
can't you rmb ?
xxx says:
omgggggg you not lying
?
NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
hahahahaha
NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
yeah im not
xxx says:
this is embarrassing
NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
rmb
xxx says:
ahhhh
xxx says:
how do i fell down?
NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
i think you were msging then you didnt see the drain'
NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
hahahha
NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
quite funny
xxx says:
OMG
xxx says:
i seriously have no idea i did that
xxx says:
i totally forgot all about it
xxx says:
haha
xxx says:
ahhhah
xxx says:
okay
NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
OF COURSE YOU DID
NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
COS
NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
IT NEVER HAPPENED
NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
HAHAHAHA
NICOL ; brobdingnagian girls, we need to rule the world says:
DUH, CAN'T BELIEVE YOU BELIEVED ME

oh my. i was laughing all the way through.
xxx. hahahaha

HE LOVES (: at 11:51 AM